Looking back I feel incredibly lucky to have been able to have a home birth. I think we have been lied to about how doable it is because it threatens the status quo. The disempowerment around how we come into the world lays the foundation that makes it that much easier for all other oppressions to come in. So home birth is “fringe” and people who do it are “edgy.” I feel so fortunate that I and my daughter made it through the prenatal care gauntlet. Even home birth midwives, bad asses that they necessarily are, have restrictions they have to adhere to in order to keep their license (my midwife told us though she could tell there was nothing really wrong with me, that if my BP got even a little bit higher then we would have to go to a birthing center). And I have nothing but respect and admiration for every woman who has gone through the process, whatever form it took, of having a baby in the U.S.
Joe says that good blogging is brief and need not be polished – so here a few other thoughts at one month plus:
In the last few days Maeve has started making eye contact – there were hints of it before but now her gaze is more focused, sustained than before. Its exciting and sweet to have this new connection with her. Also, in the last few days we’ve also had a couple of great yawning exchanges, where we yawn back and forth several times.
I keep thinking she is like a start fish or a slug – equally sensitive throughout her whole body at this point, and uniform in coordination – her arms and legs and head wend around like antenna – they seem like they they are batting Joe and I away but I think the opposite is true – this is her means of connecting and/or responding to our touch or proximity.
It seems like she is crying more lately, often in the evening. After covering the bases – making sure she’s not hungry or needing to burp and that her diaper is clean -I do my best to calmly listen to and comfort her as best I can with soothing words and touch – I think this is the most effective way to help her through her whatever is upsetting her but i don’t really know and it is hard to watch her struggle and seem so sad and anxious.
Read that frustration (i.e. crying) is part of learning and therefore not always good to avoid.
There are lots of other things I’m wondering about and looking for information about on the internet:
Is my lack of appetite something other new moms experience?
Why do I still feel like a rag doll, like my joints are extra loose, especially in the morning?
Why is her poop sometimes foamy?
How do you avoid diaper blow outs – both onto the diaper cover and outside the diaper cover