Maeve at One Month

Maeve and me

Looking back I feel incredibly lucky to have been able to have a home birth.  I think we have been lied to about how doable it is because it threatens the status quo.  The disempowerment around how we come into the world lays the foundation that makes it that much easier for all other oppressions to come in.  So home birth is “fringe” and people who do it are “edgy.”  I feel so fortunate that I and my daughter made it through the prenatal care gauntlet.  Even home birth midwives, bad asses that they necessarily are, have restrictions they have to adhere to in order to keep their license (my midwife told us though she could tell there was nothing really wrong with me, that if my BP got even a little bit higher then we would have to go to a birthing center).  And I have nothing but respect and admiration for every woman who has gone through the process, whatever form it took, of having a baby in the U.S.

Joe says that good blogging is brief and need not be polished – so here a few other thoughts at one month plus:

In the last few days Maeve has started making eye contact – there were hints of it before but now her gaze is more focused, sustained than before.  Its exciting and sweet to have this new connection with her.  Also, in the last few days we’ve also had a couple of great yawning exchanges, where we yawn back and forth several times. 

Our Home Birth Story: Welcoming Maeve into the World

(hey everyone – this is a birth story – it’s perhaps a bit graphic – some real blood, adult themes, not for everyone)

Maeve just after being born. Her head was still somewhat oblong then, as it gets squeezed going through the birth canal

Two days ago, Tuesday, July 30th 2013, my wife Carrie Lincourt and I gave birth to Maeve Margaret Linton Lincourt, a 21-inch long 8-pound 4-ounce daughter. Our first. We had Maeve at home, in the flat where Carrie has lived for the past 6 years. Below is my account of the incredible, intense and ultimately wonderful home birth experience we had.

Let me start by saying that I am a very imperfect witness. (This is a concept I borrow from Primo Levi, one of my favorite authors, who, in The Drowned and the Saved, states that, as a survivor his Auschwitz experience was highly unusual, and therefor he is not the best person to tell the stories he does.) As a male, I was there, was supporting, but I didn’t go through one-hundredth of what my wife went through… nonetheless, I am going to try to tell the birth story as I experienced and remember it… so we can share with friends, family, our future selves, and our daughter. (Another imperfection is that I didn’t take a lot of pictures. I was in the thick of it supporting Carrie… thanks to others for taking quite a few of the photos here.)

For the past months, we’ve been preparing for a home birth. Various friends of ours had successful home births (including my neighbors at L.A. Eco-Village), so from even before we became pregnant, our intent was to have our baby at home. This was welcome to a lot of our friends, but some folks who were less familiar with birthing at home were worried for us. Overall, though, it was a decision we knew was good, and the more read and listened and talked – we felt better and better about our choice being right for us (though perhaps not for everyone.) 

The Birth Story: Extended Prelude

Cristina, Rich and Carrie at Liberty State Park yesterday

My wife Carrie Lincourt and I are due to have a baby on July 25th 2013!

That’s yesterday.

Apparently first time moms do tend to run about a week late. We thought that we might be the exception, but it’s Friday, a day “late” and there’s no baby here yet. I thought I would write down some of the story of the last couple days… and how we thought maybe we’d deliver right on our due date.

On Wednesday night, July 24th, Carrie’s dad and stepmom arrived in town. We went out to dinner at Rustique, and during the meal, Carrie started having contractions. We knew it was early and this early labor could last days… could come and go… but I, at least, got excited that things were moving and the baby would arrive any minute… or at least in a day or two.